The Awakening

For the past 8 days I drown myself to work, 20hrs a day 7 days a week. For what and why, now I suddenly ask myself. I kept me busy like a cow in an attempt to forget, enveloped, erase, put behind the catastrophic events that ended a dream like love affair, at least I thought it was. I kept my thoughts and emotions away from the memories, that I considered precious. I had to fight nostalgia. I had to get rid of false hope. I have to be a man. Abruptly I wonder what does it take to be a man?

I reflected and was enlightened. I came to be reminded that I am a man - a good man, capable of loving. A man true to himself and to others. And I’m satisfied to realize that I didn’t fail the relationship or myself. I made a mistake a good mistake, giving and doing all of everything to something that probably don’t deserve, who knows. But deserving or not I was true to the end.
And after the end:
- I did not turn the other into scapegoat in order to project myself as true and good.
- I did not look for the mistake of others to be sinless into the eyes of people I know.
- I did not find reasons to serve my purpose, and cover a lie with a lie.
- I did not exaggerate the actual events.
- I did not pretend to be strong.
- I did not turn my back to the facts and reality.
- I did not feel hatred or disgusted.
- I did not been pretentious.
This things that I did not do gives me the pleasure and satisfaction.

When I look back there were period on those wary time that I wished I had clearly known my shortcomings and mistakes considered by the other as such. This for my contemplation, so as to evolve and develop myself. However, I guess there is nothing to know. For now I had known and understood that:
- some people will call you crazy and sick when you tell the truth, the more you tell the truth the more they are convince that you are insane.
- when people lie they will lie to cover the lie, reasons becomes reasoning.
- some people will find reasons to serve there purpose, and are used to move around bushes.
- a fact that kept secret or hidden is always a stinky one.
- when you give a helping hand they will judge you as a manipulator a controller.
- knowledge and intelligence and ability are not often a gift it could be a curse, things are better off unknown sometimes.
- some people judge others thru there experiences and sees everything as the same.
- aristocracy and hypocrisy is the downfall of kingdoms.
- theatrical communication is truly deceiving. it doesnt show the true expression of the heart.
- ridiculous is a word for unbelievable but true.
- unresolve problem will cause dillusional and distort facts.
- there are people who insist in drawing a thick line between friendship and love, love and friendship are spelled the same and pronounced the same.
- one can not do anything much for the other in a short time frame, patience is a virtue.
- when I trust I should trust or its better not to trust at all.
- you can be an extreme to anything and everything but never with relationship.
- love is everything love is nothing, the end will justify.
- fate had nothing to do with love we are the architects of our own destiny.


The lighting speed experience of this compact event in a span of 25 days. Had given me so much, it let me discover the other part of me. That it solidify my whole knowledge and understanding. It made my heart stronger, not as a fortress, but a heart with courage and strength to open at it’s widest. It turns the little intelligence that I have into wisdom.

Now as everything is clearer. I can feel joy in my heart, my mind is at peace, my body and soul is in harmony. Now I am sharing to you the learning experience that we all similarly encounter/will encounter with a smile. For us to remember that things are not what they seems and things happen for a reason. Sad but True.