home alone

while non Christian Taiwanese prepare hundreds of activities for this cold Christmas season im stock in my humble storage shelter, without regards to the hassle and bustle of the outside world. for the first time in my life I consciously had something to consider my first time, dec. 25 will come, and I will be waiting for it alone. I can not imagine how I could decide to stay foot in place that had given me loneliness and sorrows. probably because every year of my life here had to take a 180 degree turn into a different direction. to the unknown territory and uncharted living in which i am searching, of what i dont know. this place did not even provide ample amount of dime to support my inexpensive living here.

now as I do nothing I will have plenty of pondering time steering upward my now known radical provocative thinking. probably I will die thinking doing nothing. this is something that I never thought of. is this a sad story or a protest of my present life. I don’t think so. its just, as always, an expression of thoughts and feelings at this exact moment.

a xmas alone could be a blessing in disguise. as I drift away form religion and embrace spirituality. this could be start of not celebrating Christmas. anyway its just the Georgian calendar who declare the birth of Christ is December 25 where in it was made in favor of religion and custom. now they still cant accept other method of timing, even though they are having hard time chasing the exact time. maybe I will celebrate xmas using the solar time calendar, oh no the atomic time calendar, ah I rather check the decimal time calendar, wait let me think better the new digital standard calendar, can I suggest computer time, I will based it on the international fixed calendar, the astronomical calendar, ISO 8601, symmetry 454. aaaah what the hell I already have the chance not to celebrate why worry at all.

may your Christmas celebration be merry.