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Monday, November 28, 2005

memories

we always struggle for the forgetfulness of lonely and unwanted memories. but what’s more irrational than losing a memory. most of us look but didn’t see the fact that recollections of the past events are precious. how can we afford to loss the lessons of our lives. who we are to ignore the facts and reality that happened. we are gifted to have such unfavorable reminiscences, for what is more lethally poisonous than not having one.

the children of today will never have the memory of
- waking up to the call of singing birds and rough shout of a rooster.
- feeling the rambling roar of stomach to the aroma of a fresh cooked breakfast
- walking to school in companion of the smooth morning breeze
- afternoon bath on a rainbow sparkling reflection of the sun on water along the river banks
- a cappella of toads and frogs after the passing rain turn the cracking ground to life.
- listening to the melody composed and orchestrated by the visiting monsoon.
- high pitch alarm of crickets the reminds a wandering curious child to run home for diner.
- feast on the table under the flickering light of a melting candle stick
- performing the ritual of folding a mosquito net between the feather mattress and wooden bed
- closing the eyes in darkness with great anticipation that tomorrow is a brighter day.

a growing child of today already lost what they don’t have, the memory of life. humans the self proclaimed guardian of creation is losing the world it borrowed from their children. advancement is inevitably wanted and needed. however development is on its destructive direction, a development paid by life. an evolution with out memories.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Somebody...guess who's?

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me
I want somebody who cares
For me passionately
With every thought and
With every breath
Someone who'll help me see things
In a different light
And when I'm asleep
I want somebody
Who will put their arms around me
And kiss me tenderly

Friday, November 18, 2005

sex life - love life

she called saying; I miss having sex with you. life without you (me sexing you up I thought) is just not life. undiniengly im trilled and aroused by the call, flattered as well. however for some unknown and unexplainable reasons I denied her the gratification of sex.

sex…thrill and excitement phase(days-5min) - plateau phase(2-15min, good as it gets for most women) - orgasm phase (0.8sec male/female) - resolution phase (1min or less for women-10min or more for men, this is the unfair part cause women can do the cycle again in multi with out a blink).

what is life without sex? is this question appropriate? life is not sex. sex is just “a” fraction of life. orgasm is an intangible mechanism for the ejaculation of spermatozoa and for the convulsion of the cervix. you animals wont understand this so don’t bother. just enjoy the 0.8sec bliss of your pitiful (sex) life. I would rather find pleasure in love life. love, it’s the word used by indolent like me.

im so lazy that I use the word love instead of:
- looking into your eyes and say not a word
- touching your wiggled hair
- reaching for your hands and hold it firm but gentle
- caressing your skin
- saying thinking of sharing my intimate moment with you
- asking to have an astonishing conversation with you
- lets sleep naked together
- I want to hug and kiss you
- giving my life to you with out expectation

ah yes, love is the ultimate sacrifice, life. that is why there is no pain greater than love brings. however nobody forces us to offer our heart. it is a gift we give and we don’t have to expect something in return. nevertheless we always expect something special and true. this expectation causes us to loss, but it also cause us to win. of course the ending of substantial love is always excruciating but that’s the consequences that we don’t have to think about. because if we do, we will miss the enjoyment and happiness love brings. it is the ending and not the beginning, context or climax. the end will come by natural death or by human murder, it will end. so why worry? enjoy life with love and when it ends feel the pleasure that the pain brings, grief and cry, be down. but never despair, cause life is beautiful. the more painful it is, the more pleasurable your future will be. so sex life? nah, there is no excitement in it, no fear to conquer and no challenge to quest. all you got is 0.8sec of unconsciousness and a life time of conscious misery. ill stick with my love life and enjoy sleeping naked with somebody who hug me and kiss me tenderly while saying good night.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

facinating templars

the knight of templar are considered the greatest warriors of the second crusade. there army is the most well equipped well trained and well disciplined, this could be due to German knowledge. templars accumulate there wealth thru donations and from its knights who take oat of poverty, which means that there land and wealth is given to the order. because of increasing wealth the templars accidentally go into banking in effect increases the wealth into a staggering tempo. they lend, donate, provide to the poor, pilgrims and to small entrepreneurs from what we call now cottage industry. the templar was so rich and powerful, and with countless papal bulls. the kings and nobles started to envy, fear and plot against the templars.



the templars was "wipeout(?)" in the start of the 14 century. they where simultaneously arrested in October 13, as what we have known now friday the 13 th. it started when the templars denied the loan of the king of france, for his war effort. the king of france pursued the pope to go against the templars, in effect two popes died by poisoning. during the inquisition of the templars they were force to admit, what we call now "forced admission", that they perform rituals, practice homosexuality, worshiped idols and other heresies.



the first grand master, Hughes de Payens and most of the 23 are French. this could lead us to why our interpretation of Christ image is French instead of a Palestinian, as I have send the pictures on my last email. not only this but also because surviving relics of arts are works of Europeans, in which to remember that culture and environment had a great influence in art. and also the legend of the Merovingian blood line, Merovingian a frankish dynasty started 4th century a.d., with also great influence in germany. and know for its mythical believes and practices and long haired kings and divine patronage and mastery of war. the templars was "assumed" there generals and protectors and administrators.



no mater what to read the templars story, legend and facts is overwhelmingly interesting. if you have read "holy blood holy grail" and the crusade triology (the road to Jerusalem, the knight templar, the kingdom at the end of the road), check the bibliography there you will see how writers are fascinated by the templars. and a lot of movies we saw are bits and pieces of templars legend.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

a lonely heart of an alone mind

the time had come that I am being conscious of the immense inferiority of everybody else. and it brings me agonizing pain and colossal of loneliness that is endless. this point in time of my life that I vainly search for a creature that will put me under her feet. an omnipotent being that will let me feel that I am nobody but a speck of dust. that the knowledge I gain is incomparable to that of her wisdom.

being superior to everybody else is to have a solitude heart and an isolated mind.

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

to know or not to know

My friend RAV ask me this question.
Kards which is better knowing a lot or knowing nothing? Me, I admit im slow.


to my opinion and understanding.

it all depends on the side of the sphere my friend. knowledge can be a gift-can be a curse. some people are walking encyclopedia but know nothing about themselves. some people know nothing and are satisfied.

one person can be a weapon specialist the other a humble butcher. you will fear who? weapon specialist cant kill he will analyze, rationalize and compute on which weapon to use . a butcher had only a knife in his hand uses it in a blink of an eye, his limited knowledge serve its purpose to the fullest. the point is when we have knowledge and never use it to its purpose we become stupid. it doesn’t matter how much you know or what you can do. it is how you use this limited knowledge and simple ability to the fullest that you become productive, useful, efficient, an expert, a specialist and a true person. you don’t need to invade iraq to kill/capture saddam. you don’t have to engage in a protracted war in order to have a profitable oil business.

you are slow? in learning there is no fast nor slow, your entire life is learning. when we know but did not want to know that then we become fools. most of things are better left unknown. knowledge can make our life miserable, unsatisfied, painful and sorrowful. knowledge can lead us into the labyrinth of confusion, it can crucify our faith. to seek knowledge you need strength, courage and wisdom. so don’t be in hurry to learn or else you will be just jumping into the furnace of hell.

let us make use of what we have and know ourselves, then we can shout to the world that we are successfully satisfied.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

Me a Believer

Provocative Zionist Christian projects Muslims as terrorist, killers, and barbarians. This could be associated to their insecurity, arrogance, ignorance and self claimed righteousness. It could also be due to that Christian Churches is losing followers to Islam. There are more non-believers who put their faith in Islam and more Christians who convert to Islam.

Just how would you have followers or converts if you kill them, ridiculous. Not even one with the brains of a gnat would believe that a Muslim imam engaged in inviting non-Muslims to Islam would undermine his cause by making an open statement that the Muslim mission in life is to kill all non-Muslims. Or else he must be insane or hopelessly dim-witted. The Prophet and his companions would not have left alive any non-Muslim tribes in Arabia, when they had got complete authority over them. Was it because of the fear of the sword that hundreds of thousands of the most warlike Arabs of the time literally followed the Prophet in everything he commanded?

Muslims are quite successfully convincing the non-Muslims—instead of trying to kill them—that Islam is more tolerant than Judaism and at any rate the Christian coalition. Of course, one may cite instances of Muslims killing non-Muslims, but at the same time, Christians, too, have been killing non-Christians and even Christians! People are blind or just play blind in seeing what is reality. The great crusade was a product of politics, greed, ignorance and arrogance as well as the jihad. And to make things clear jihad does not mean Holy War, it is the Crusaders who call their war holy, what’s holy about war anyway. Jihad means striving simple as that and for Muslim it is strive to follow the words of God. Does anyone need a command from God to go and kill? In Islam, it is true that God has permitted fighting; but this fighting must be against oppression and injustice, not against non-Muslims as such! Where innocent men, women and children are attacked, or when intolerable atrocities are committed, Muslims are asked to fight to protect the innocent and safeguard their rights.

Have any of you read the Koran? You can buy it for $3.00 compare to $12.00 Christian bible. In order to understand and know what you believe in, it is right that you have to listen and understand and respect the beliefs of others. Or if not you will just be living in a fortress in which you have false security and artificial satisfaction without knowing how vast the kingdom is beyond the walls. But well it is smart to limit once knowledge but it is wise to learn. The Qur’an does not instruct Muslims to kill non-believers to guarantee them a place in Heaven. God/Allah commands the believers to invite others to His way in the most peaceful manner. In this call, the Muslims are commanded to appeal to their common sense. I will not elaborate but this is written in Koran/Qur’an: Al-Baqarah 2:256 & Al-Kahf 18:29 & Fussilat 41:34 & An-Nahl 16:125.

I am not an Islam convert. I don’t turn my back to Christianity either. I just despise our ignorance, our self-centeredness, our claimed righteousness, our arrogance, our denials and us humans who does not evolve towards divinity, as God wanted us, to be like him. We loss our senses and miss the true essence of faith. “God” wanted as man to be GOD. When we are all GOD there will be peace and prosperity and joy and love and heaven here on earth. Religions are our guide in achieving our life goal to be satisfied as gods. And as Christian Jesus is the greatest example that man can be god. Can you imagine when we are all like Jesus? And for Muslim why do they have to strive in following the words of Allah?

Well I am a man of dreams and I believe that we are nothing without our dreams. So lets say that I am the only one in this world who had this "idea" of human evolving into divinity. Lets consider it is "my" philosophy-ideology-fantasy. And the Man-Jesus-God is very debatable so it is on the belief and faith of the individual. We cannot induce, but we can share our understanding and stand on this issue. Jesus was/is god yes? But when he was 13-30 who is he? I will not elaborate cause it is endless discussion. What I believe is that god set his self as an example. He said hey look I am God, I will be a man to show you how to be God. Did Jesus teachings introduce us on how to follow his footsteps how to be good and do good? If not what did he teaches us? To glorify and praise and worship and love God? God doesn’t need this He is God for God sake? God wanted us to be like him because he loves, glorify, worship, praise us, because we are his creation we are him, his breath and likeness, He wants us to share His Kingdom. Here I set/focus/consider myself as a Christian, but isn’t it that the aim of religions is for the goodness of all mankind and to give hope thru spirituality?

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Jesus in the world of reality

A Glimpse
According to Christian belief, just after he was baptized by John the Baptist he began his public teaching; he is generally considered to have been about thirty years old at that time. Jesus used a variety of methods in his teaching, such as paradox, metaphor and parable. His teaching frequently centered on the Kingdom of God, or Kingdom of Heaven. Some of his most famous teachings are in the Sermon on the Mount, which also contains the Beatitudes. His parables (or stories with a deep or metaphorical meaning) include the parable of the Good Samaritan, and the Prodigal Son. Jesus had a number of disciples. His closest followers were twelve apostles. According to the New Testament, Jesus also performed various miracles in the course of his ministry, including healings, exorcisms, and raising Lazarus from the dead.Jesus frequently put himself in opposition to the Jewish religious leaders including the opposing forces of Sadducees and Pharisees. His teaching castigated the Pharisees primarily for their legalism and hypocrisy, although he also had followers among the religious leaders (see Nicodemus). In his role as a social reformer, and with his followers holding the inflammatory view that he was the Jewish Messiah, Jesus threatened the status quo.Jesus' preachings included the forgiveness of sin, life after death, and resurrection of the body. Jesus also preached the imminent end of the current era of history, or even the literal end of the world; in this sense he was an apocalyptic preacher. Some interpretations of the text, particularly amongst Protestants, suggest that Jesus opposed stringent interpretations of Jewish law, supporting the spirit more than the letter.

Other Gospels
Apocryphal texts have also surfaced detailing events in Jesus' life and teachings, chief among them the Gospel of Thomas, a "sayings gospel" or logia consisting primarily of phrases attributed to Jesus. Other New Testament apocrypha, generally considered less important, include the Gospel of the Hebrews, the Gospel of Mary, the Infancy Gospels, the Gospel of Peter, the Unknown Berlin Gospel, the Naassene Fragment, the Secret Gospel of Mark, the Egerton Gospel, the Oxyrhynchus Gospels and the Fayyum Fragment.

Paganism and Christ
On the other side of the coin, some scholars believe that Jesus has little or no historical basis - despite surviving descriptions in secular Roman annals by Tacitus, Suetonius, Livius, and so forth. There are many similarities between stories about Jesus and contemporary myths of Pagan godmen such as Mithras, Apollo, Attis, Horus and Osiris-Dionysus, leading to conjectures that the Pagan myths were adopted by some authors of early accounts of Jesus to form a syncretism with Christianity. Some Christian authors, such as C. S. Lewis and J. R. R. Tolkien, believed that such myths were created by ancient Pagans with vague and imprecise knowledge of the Gospel. While these connections are disputed by many, it is nevertheless true that many elements of Jesus' story as told in the Gospels have parallels in Pagan mythology, where miracles such as virgin birth and reincarnation were not uncommon.

Portrayal of Jesus
Jesus has been portrayed in countless paintings and sculptures for two thousand years, particularly throughout the Middle Ages. Often he is portrayed as looking like a male from the region of the artist creating the portrait; some African-Americans, for example, portray Jesus as being of African descent. However, the most common depiction of Jesus in the Western world is as a Caucasian due to the predominance of Christianity in Europe, and some portrayals that do not agree with this common conception of him have been sources of controversy. Most of the early artifacts show Jesus as clean shaven. His hair is often long, however, this is probably a result of the mistaken belief that Jesus had taken life-long Nazarite vows, which included not cutting your hair (Samson being the most famous example of life long Nazarite).There are no descriptions of the physical appearance of the earthly Jesus in the Gospels, though a vision of the heavenly body of Jesus is described in the Book of Revelations: "His head and hairs white like wool, as white as snow; and His eyes as a flame of fire; And his feet like unto fine brass, as if they burned in a furnace." (1:13-16). Most early theological debate about Jesus's appearance was based on interpreting Messianic prophesies and on the assumption that his physical form arose from a miraculous virgin birth and so was determined by divine fiat rather than biological mechanisms. Following Isaiah 53:2 early theologians such as Justin Martyr insisted that he was physically undistinguished, with "no beauty that we should desire him." The anti-Christian author Celsus states that he was "short and ugly". In contrast, the later Church Fathers Saint Jerome and Saint Augustine of Hippo argued that Jesus must have been ideally beautiful in face and body. The scientific recreation of a man that lives in time and place of Jesus portray a round head, large check and slightly protruding forehead with round big eyes and curly hair. This is based on the dated skulls. The man will have a face similar with present Palistinians rather than what most christian imagine, a face similar to French.

Backgrounder
The world in which Jesus would have lived was volatile, marked by many cultural and political conflicts and tensions. Culturally, Jews had to grapple with the values and philosophy of Hellenism and the imperialism of Rome, together with the paradox that their Torah applied only to them, but revealed universal truths. This situation led to new interpretations of the Torah, influenced by Hellenic thought and in response to Gentile interest in Judaism.All of the land of Israel was a protectorate of the Roman Empire at the time of Jesus' birth. The town claimed as Jesus' childhood home, Nazareth, was probably a tiny hamlet of a few hundred inhabitants, according to archaeological findings in the area. It had no synagogue, nor any public buildings. No gold, silver or imported goods have been found in it by excavation.According to Josephus, 1st-century Judaism consisted of several sects, the largest being the Sadducees, who were closely connected with the priesthood and the Temple, and the Pharisees, who were teachers and leaders of the synagogues. They resented Roman occupation, but, according to historian Shaye Cohen (1988), were in Jesus' time relatively apolitical. In addition, isolated in small communities from these main groups, by choice, sometimes even taking to remote desert caves in anticipation of the end times, lived the Essenes, whose theology and philosophy are believed by some scholars to have influenced Jesus and/or John the Baptist.

Many Jews hoped that the Romans would be replaced by a Jewish king (or Messiah) of the line of King David-in their view, the last legitimate Jewish regime. Most people at that time believed that their history was governed by God, meaning that even the conquest of Judea by the Romans was a divine act that would ultimately serve God's purposes. Therefore, the Romans would be replaced by a Jewish king only through divine intervention. Some, like John the Baptist in the first half of the century, and Yehoshua ben Ananias in the second half, claimed that a messianic age was at hand.Josephus' Jewish Antiquities book 18 states there was a "fourth sect", in addition to Sadducees, Pharisees and Essenes, which scholars associate with those he called Zealots. They were founded by Judas of Galilee and Zadok the Pharisee in the year 6 against Quirinius' tax reform and "agree in all other things with the Pharisaic notions; but they have an inviolable attachment to liberty, and say that God is to be their only Ruler and Lord." (18.1.6) They believed that the kingdom should be restored immediately, even through violent human action, and advocated direct action against the Romans. Roman reaction against the Zealots eventually led to the destruction of Herod's Temple by Vespasian in August of 70, and the subsequent decline of the Zealots, Sadducees and Essenes.

Some scholars have asserted that, despite the depictions of him as antagonistic towards the Pharisees, Jesus was a member of that group. Jesus' native language was most likely Aramaic; see Aramaic of Jesus. He may also have spoken other languages of the time, such as Hebrew, the Jewish liturgical language, and Greek, the administrative language.

Others on Jesus
The Ahmadiyya Movement in Islam believes that Jesus survived the crucifixion and later travelled to India, where he lived as a prophet (and died) under the name of Yuz Asaf.Judaism rejects both the Christian belief that Jesus was the Messiah and the Muslim belief that he was a prophet; Judaism states that no new prophets were created after the destruction of the First Temple, and still awaits the coming of the Messiah. Jewish belief is not completely incompatible with some of the historical teachings attested to Jesus in the Gospels, but cannot be reconciled with the confessions by early Christian adherents, especially Paul.Hindu beliefs in Jesus vary from those who consider him to have been just a normal man, or even purely a fable, to those who believe that he was an avatar of god. A large number of Hindus consider Jesus to have been a wise guru or yogi, some even suggesting that he spent his "lost years" learning various Hindu beliefs in India. The Hindutva historian P.N. Oak has even claimed that Jesus was in fact Krishna, and that Christianity originated as a form of his worship. Mahatma Gandhi considered Jesus his teacher and inspiration for Nonviolent Resistance. Many in the Surat Shabd Yoga tradition regard Jesus as a Satguru.Although Buddhism in general attributes no spiritual significance to Jesus, some Buddhists believe that Jesus may have been a Bodhisattva, one who has dedicated his or her future to the happiness of all beings. Some Buddhists also interpret Jesus through Zen Buddhism, sometimes basing their perspective on the Gospel of Thomas. Additionally, there are many Buddhists who are also members of other religions, such as Christianity, and thus may combine Christian doctrines with Buddhist philosophies.The Baha'i Faith considers Jesus to be one of many "Manifestations" (or prophets) of God, with both human and divine stations.